


i found

by minyxrd_03



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Because it's what he deserves, Happy Andrew Minyard, M/M, very vague mention of andrew's past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19859908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minyxrd_03/pseuds/minyxrd_03
Summary: Somewhere along the way Andrew stopped being angry and he stopped being alone. Somewhere along the way, Andrew found happiness.





	i found

**Author's Note:**

> i'm dedicating this to my discord server all for the pissboys because they're all smart and agree andrew deserves happiness. i love you guys <3
> 
> anyways, this is very short and it isn't an example of my best written work but i wrote this as an example of the fact that guess what!! people can grow and they can be happy and they can recover. and i don't care what nora says, andrew does all those things. and if any of you say this is out of character, you're wrong.

Sometimes, in the mornings, the sun poked through the gap in the curtains and the rays landed on Andrew’s face, waking him up. It was something he would have gotten annoyed about at one point in his life. For the majority of his life, actually. 

For those rare times when he slept well, it was everything he could do to remain that way for as long as possible. To avoid facing the world, to avoid the ever-present fog that shrouded his mind when he was on his meds. Which had been all the time. To avoid the rather unfortunate hand of cards he’d been dealt. The entire process of waking up had always been rather dreadful to him. The reminder that the previous 10, 15, 20 years had not been some horrible dream he’d had. That this was the life he’d been given and had to endure every single day. 

But somewhere along the way, without him even realizing, something started to change. It was slow-going, as these things usually were. So slow, that he didn't really notice anything was happening until he looked back and remembered the way things used to be. 

He used to be alone. Even in those early days when it seemed like all at once he’d been given a whole family, and a biological one at that, it never really felt like anyone was on his side. He didn't want any of them and none of them really wanted him, either. He’d been abandoned, after all, and even the one who’d stayed didn't even really want to stay. His cousin had a whole other life across an ocean that he would rather be apart of. The only thing that kept him around was a sense of familial obligation. Andrew didn't have anybody and he didn't really want anybody. Having people around meant they had the option to leave and Andrew didn't want to give them that option. 

He used to be angry. God he used to be so angry. At life, at his life, for going the way that it did. He was angry at things he couldn’t control and he was angry at the things he could. He was angry at everyone around him for nothing and everything. Mostly, though, he was angry at himself. He was angry about all the things he should have done differently; that he didn't know any better. He was angry at himself for being so naive and believing every lie he’d ever been told for so goddamn long. Eventually he’d been so angry for so long that he didn't always have a reason for it anymore; he just was. It’s just the way he was and always would be. 

And all that anger led to violence. At one point, the violence had been self defence. He needed it to survive all the bullshit that was thrown at him, to protect himself from the way people treated him as though he were disposable. But it stuck with him because he no longer knew who was going to treat him as such. It was best to be wary of everybody to prevent anything like that happening ever again. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes. 

He used to be afraid. Afraid of himself and the person he was stuck as. He was afraid of all the ways people tried to get to know him - whether their intentions were harmless or not, because he never knew which was the case. He was scared of that new kid who had him wishing for things he could never have. He was scared of the way he was starting to let himself want things. He was scared of the fact that he kind of wanted to live. 

But somewhere along the way, things started to change. Somewhere along the way he stopped sleeping with his back against the wall and knives under his sleeves. Somewhere along the way the smoking stopped and his walls got smaller. 

He still had nightmares sometimes, but who didn't? He still had the occasional off day, but who didn't? Somewhere along the way his brother became his friend and he stopped blaming himself for the things in his life that had gone wrong. It wasn’t his fault; it never had been. These days, if he needed a knife, he had to dig around a drawer in the kitchen to find one. These days the only meds he was on made his mind feel clearer instead of foggier. These days he had a family. Some biologically, some legally, some he’d been lucky enough to come across over the years. And he loved each and every one of them because somewhere along the way, love stopped being something he ran away from. Somewhere along the way, waking up became something he was grateful for. 

Sometimes he woke up alone. The other side of the bed was empty and unmade. Usually, on mornings like those, the sound of a door being opened was what woke him up. He would stay in bed, listening to the sound of footsteps throughout the apartment. The shower being turned on, sometimes accompanied by singing. He would wait until the shower turned off and the coffee maker was turned on before crawling out of bed and making his way into the kitchen. 

On mornings like this one, he woke to the sun peeking through the gap in the curtains and landing on his face. He opened his eyes and squinted, adjusting to the light. He stayed still for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin. 

Beside him, he heard someone sigh. He was not alone this morning. It was a Saturday; he never woke up alone on Saturday’s. He turned, the sun now on his back. 

“G’morning.” Neil’s words were half lost, his face mostly buried in his pillow. He opened his eyes and looked at Andrew. 

Andrew stared at him. He reached a bare arm over to Neil and gently brushed his hair out of his eyes. He left his hand there, thumb on his cheek and curved around his jaw, lightly pressing his fingers into his skin. Neil smiled and he looked at Andrew as though nothing else could make him happier than this. It was unbelievable to Andrew that this was the truth. That he was the primary source of someone’s happiness. Of Neil’s happiness. It was just as unbelievable and equally amazing that Neil was his. 

“Good morning,” Andrew replied. And it was. It was a good morning to have Neil curled up next to him and it was a good morning to have the sun so warm on his skin. It was a good morning to remember how far he had come and how life would only get better. He was no longer afraid, he was no longer angry, and he was no longer alone. He hadn't been for some time. Waking up hadn't been a difficult task in a long time. How could it be when this was how he woke up? 

“Are you okay?” Neil asked him. Maybe he’d been looking at Neil weird. Maybe his internal introspection had shown on his face. He’d long ago stopped sheltering the way he was really feeling. There was no longer a point in pretending. 

Andrew brushed his thumb against Neil’s jaw and he smiled. “I’m happy.” Those words felt foreign on his tongue. After years of wishing that he could be and years of wishing for nothing, happiness didn't feel like something he would ever have. It just wasn’t something he was destined for; it seemed to him, at one time, that some people just weren’t. But he’d been wrong, because he was. Andrew was happy. And he’d never been more grateful for the fact that he was alive.


End file.
